• Qwark, just one of the characters from The Concise Field Guide to the Haggis of Scotland. To read more about the character simply click add to cart to purchase the book.

How to describe Qwark, would “the most annoying creature in the entire world” cover it…

I’m not so sure, I think that’s letting Qwark off lightly. To be assaulted by the sound of this Haggis is akin to being whacked over the head with a mallet, indeed there might be a queue for the mallet rather than Qwark, I’d certainly be in the queue.

Loud, piercing, wailing, ear hurting. All of these have at one time or another been used to describe bagpipes, Qwark leaves all of that miles behind, it’s in a class of its own.

Does it have even one redeeming feature, of course, it’s delicious and for this reason and this reason alone it is put up with. Even the Society for the Annihilation of Qwark couldn’t get enough members to get rid of it.

So Qwark lives on, if somewhat noisily.


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Qwark, just one of the characters from The Concise Field Guide to the Haggis of Scotland. To read more about the character simply click add to cart to purchase the book.

  • Product Code: Qwark
  • Availability: 1000
  • £12.99